Validating volatile and avoidant couples
Honestly I'd be inclined to throw all that crap out, a marriage works if it works.I know that sounds silly but it is true, you'll run into couples that defy all the official "rules" of marriage.John Gottman's research led him to believe that there are three marriage styles: He says it is best if both partners have the same marriage style.Also Gottman found that in happy marriages there is a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.
Hostile Couples spend a great deal of time in criticism and defensiveness, and empathy is clearly in an ongoing short supply.Gottman’s research tells us that the typical Validating Couple is very empathic.They usually go along to get along, and they work hard to understand their partner’s perspective.Three of the types he considers to be relatively successful and adaptive; are profoundly different from one another but are still able to keep a positive ratio of 5:1 in their emotional bank accounts, and can resist the temptation to slide into negative sentiment override (NSO). Conflict Avoidant Couples The functionality of Conflict Avoidant Couples is a matter of degree. They focus on areas of agreement and are most comfortable when areas of mutual agreement expand rather than contract.These couples are not comfortable with strong-arm persuasion tactics. They become anxious at the thought of making active requests of one another, and prize mutuality and congruency as true emblems of happiness.